I'm still up. It's stupid but for some reason all my productivity has just gone out the window. Yesterday was no better. I'd gone out on Tuesday night, and while the club shut at 1am and I honestly hadn't drank that much, I still woke up at something like 9am and I was just so incredibly tired for the rest of the day that I didn't get anything done. Actually, that's a lie; I did somehow manage to finally send my blasted tax letter after months of damn procrastination which, if I'm honest, I'm pretty ashamed at because I'm due a lot of money. But other than sending the letter (and calling my mother to tell her that I'd finally got off my fat ass to do so), I did nothing. I had planned to make a new video for YouTube but as I'm actually pretty self-conscience of the fact that I don't have any followers and my flatmates don't even know (I hope!) that I do it, I'm kind of waiting for the day I've got the flat to myself. Hasn't happened yet. Maybe I'll just bite the bullet and set up my tripod. I mean, I actually enjoy making videos, even if they're just silly little rambles of my life. I like to plan it out, I like thinking of what to say and I like the whole editing process as well.
But anyways, getting back to the topic in hand: I need to get a grip of my situation. Just after I moved into my new room, I needed to be quite productive to get things all organised and make the place feel a little more like home. Simple things like shopping for bedcovers or even just food made me feel happy. And being productive feels good! You have no idea how weird it felt after I dropped that stupid tax letter into the post-box! It was quite liberating! Now I just need to hope I included all the right information and they can simply give me my money back dammit!
That was yesterday though. And yesterday I said to myself, Ok, how about we make that video tomorrow? And once again I had that ridiculous belief that yes, tomorrow I'll be even more productive and get loads of shit done! Instead, I get up at 1.45pm, go online, be anything but productive and then think, Right, I'll have some food and then I can be productive...
It's frustrating because here I am, ranting about something I can quite easily change but yet it's 2.30am and I just know I'll be tired tomorrow and not want to do anything. Additionally, I don't know about where you are, but the weather here has gone pretty mental the last few days. Apparently it snowed this morning but it's the wind! It literally whistles past my window and there's been thunder as well. In other words, the perfect weather for just curling up under a nice thick duvet with Deal or No Deal on the telly.
Yeah, it's frustrating because it's so pathetic...
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